Pretentious? Moi?

Why I hate trendy people Reason #8: They grow really disgusting facial hair.

Hipster facial hair is definitely not a new topic, I'm pretty sure everyone has witnessed some pretty nasty facial hair. However, I feel it is my duty to report my findings. I'm reporting my findings, as a girl, growing up I noticed that around middle school to the beginning of high school, guys would grow out their little teeny moustaches as a matter of pride. They would go to the bathroom, or sometimes the lunch room, and plot their progress against the other tween boys. I feel this is the attitude hipsters have toward facial hair today.

The hipsters I see loitering around the streets in their groups of trendy followers always are sporting some kind of new moustache. I'll describe the various styles I've noticed in the city.

1. The mountain man, also popular with the lazy or outdoorsy types. This style often comes with overly trendy clothes, in order to prove their hipster status. The beard usually protrudes quite a bit, full moustache and beard.
2. The civil war general, this is only for the truly brave/really really stupid. This usually implies a curl at the ends of the moustache, immaculately groomed. Because, officer, you must look presentable.
3. The evil genius, usually a thinner, almost debonaire but just misses the mark, really a truly ridiculous moustache. Just scares small children and animals.
4. The rapist look, usually a slight peach fuzz almost a full stache, but it doesn't get there. This look is popular with hipsters, 13 year old boys, and people who come up as little red dots when searched on a certain sex offender website.

So, as you can see, there are a wide variety of trendy people facial hair options. All of which are equally pretentious. When said trendy people are asked about their facial hair, they'll usually cite some sort of op-ed piece about the death of the facial hair, or perhaps their top 10 favorite famous men with moustaches. Some will even just claim they were bored, no one is bored enough to groom their moustache into points at both ends. I'm just saying. But hey, it's just one trend that I can never follow, and thus never be cool...