Mob Personality

Why I hate trendy people Reason #6: They always travel in packs.

Like vicious dogs... or hyenas... or their ultra slim menthol cigarettes.

Do you ever notice how rare it is to see just one trendy person at a time? I've found that whenever I'm feeling particularly bad about my clothing choices I'm facing a group, a herd, a pack of overly trendy people. It is much more often that I see a group of hipsters. All bobbing their fedora-ed douche bag heads in unison. Often discussing matters they seem to find greatly important. Pretending they are the smartest in their pack of dunces, trying to be the one to use the biggest words, the most elegantly constructed sentences, usually it sounds something like this:

"Did you see that (insert super obscure movie title here) is playing at the (just as obscure movie theater, that looks super cheap but still costs at least $10 for a ticket)?

"Why yes, I heard that (foreign film director's name) is receiving a lot of positive press, but I think that the subject of love is so trite these days. Maybe if he had used (obscure actress because she's not good enough to be famous), she was so hauntingly fresh in that (other obscure movie title)."

Usually the sentences are filled with contradictions and -tion words that don't really fit the context, but everyone nods along anyway. No one wants to be THAT GUY, who has to ask what the fuck the other ones are talking about.

Also, in these packs of hipsters, there's a certain dress code. It is as such:

1. Androgynous pair of shoes
2. Non-prescription thick rimmed glasses
3. at least 4 accessories (i.e. belts, hats, unisex jewelry...)
4. Jeans tight enough to see EVERYthing

Next time you're strolling along behind a group of modern day philosophers all competing to be the next Nietzche hating on the state of the world and such, eavesdrop a bit, maybe you'll discover the secret to being so damn cool...